Thursday, December 23, 2010

Rated My Life

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 7.1
Mind: 7
Body: 6.7
Spirit: 8.4
Friends/Family: 4.6
Love: 5.5
Finance: 7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Friday, December 17, 2010

Thoughts

Hmm...
The silence inside me is giving way to my thoughts. Thoughts are poring in or are they just leaving me! Donno...
It is beautiful to watch them pass by; different shades, colors, contours, depth, height...
Everything and everywhere they are... Amazing na!!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Remarrying after divorce

Some of my friends, after knowing that I am doing MTech, asked me that how does it feel like being a student again. My reply was "The feeling is same as during remarrying after divorce".

Monday, December 6, 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Get up

Here I am sitting in the CCN (Computing Facility) of my college. Prior to coming here I went for a long walk after a long time. It was great! The idea was to reduce my waistline (may be I was very optimistic from just one walk ;-)). Also, to gain some insight into the world I live in.


These days I am trying to wake up to the real world form my dreamland. Hopefully, I get up soon

Friday, November 5, 2010

Attitude vs Talent

Yesterday came across a presentation given by Hasha Bhogle on Attitude vs Talent. It was very enlightening. He said that talent may take one upto a certain level. But to go beyond one has to develop the right attitude. People who have not failed and bounced back will never know what to do when faced with adversary. Winners are not born but people strive hard to become one. They have a vision, a passion and a mission.
Kabir's one of the couplet says it all "karat karat abhyash ke jar mati hot sujan, rasri aavat jat te sil par part nishan".

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Happy Diwali

Tomorrow is the festival of light (Deepawali). A very HappY Deepawali to all of you.

I do not know what to say. I can hope that a Deepawali may come some time in future (do not know whether I'll be able to see it) when in true sense the festival of light will light everyone's life. A distant hope!

I want to write incessantly but my thoughts and ideas seems to be jumbled up. Do not know from where to start.  

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Recess

Back in the world of blogging after a refreshing recess.
Enjoyed 18 days vacation with the family. It was almost a year when I was with them for so long.
Now back to business: searching a new direction and destination!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Learning the hard way

What type of product we expect to come out of our schools and colleges were teachers see teaching just a job!
Here I am expected to learn a subject, prepare power point presentation and teach the class. Worst part is that library do not contain proper reference books. The teacher has given up saying that even he is new to the subject and "wants" to learn along with us without giving any input from his side. The onus of the subject lies on three of us. God only knows how we are going to learn this subject!
The motivating factor: Expect not and thou shall not be disappointed.

I"LL DO IT

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Just Do It

Yesterday I wrote Right Time. I was not sure of myself then (and so am I today).
But today I came across four guiding principles of life: Courage, Confidence, Will and Faith.
Courage to take the untrodden path, 
Confidence that I can trod on the path,
Will to move ahead fighting all odds and 
Faith in the Almighty as the guiding force.
 I have nothing new to say. The slogan of Nike reverberates in my ears  
JUST DO IT

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Right Time

Everything has a right time. Many of my friends have followed the right course. Completed their education, got a job. Now getting married to settle down. Some have even moved a step further; parent-in-waiting!
The inevitable question comes: where am I?
On a philosophical note sometime back I wrote
Where am I or
where I am not?
Where am the Universe
or just a dot?
Where am alone
or one in lot?
 But reality is no-philosophy. But I have no answer too. People take charge and guide the course of history of their life. I have not yet learnt the art. Most of my friends have accepted the reality and moved on. But I could not. It is not that I do not want to but somehow I could not.
Is it that I do not know what I want! It is more of an expression than a question.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Long Hiatus

I have been on a kind-of forced vacation from blogging; still I do not know whether I am really back :-)
Life has moved on. Now I am pursuing MTech from NIT Kurukshetra in Control Systems.
One thing that has rally wondered me and made me think:whatever I have wanted I have got in life. But by the time I have received it I have lost the interest in it. I do not know whether this happens with me or is common with others.
Does it mean Nature is very generous in giving but also strict: it wont give what we want when we want but when it is really needed.
My coming to Kurukshetra was not a conscious decision. I was preparing to get into IIT for MTech. I was striving hard but then something happened 2-3 months before the exam that I could not study. It was the time when suddenly I lost interest in the real world. Was being carried away in some remote world, I do not know where. In this suspended state of mind I gave the exam without thinking of the consequences. Results came out and my rank was very poor. I almost lost hope that I'll get admission this time in any of the IITs and it was true. Someone suggested me to apply in the NITs and I did. NIT Kurukshetra was not at all in my cards. Somehow I did not wanted to apply here... again I do not know why!
But the reality is that I got admission only here... and that too in the subject I wanted to pursue, Control System.
Was my destiny delayed by my seer inaction or not the adequate amount of action? The later seems to be true. I have to come out of the inactive state and respect whatever I have, build upon it.

Probably this is what even God wants from me!

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Road of Life


Journey through the road of life,
Is a walk on the edge of knife.
Focused and engaged we may cross,
Lose them and it may cut across.

Faith and confidence are must,
Shun them; life-bubbles are burst.
Walk is not rough,
Our manifestations make it tough.

The thought may go on and on…

Some time back I was thinking about problems we face in life. What are these problems? This question took me to my school days. I could very easily co-relate. Initially I was taught the alphabets, the numbers…then came the words, simple arithmetic problems… followed by sentences, tougher problems… and the complexity increased. Isn’t life same too?

One thing that I have understood about Nature (or God or whatever we may call) is that EVOLUTION and nothing but EVOLUTION is its (avoiding gender controversy ) ONE and ONLY agenda. Whenever Nature feels that we need to move ahead, learn new lessons it blesses us with “the problems”, we hate the most. We are left with no option but to face. Worst… there is no escaping. Till we master what Nature wants us to master, the problem will recur again and again in different forms.

No one remains the same before and after the arrival of pain (or problems). The title of a very popular self help book says it all “Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do”.

Nature wants us to accept life in totality; learn to except the good, and the bad too, with ease. This is possible, I believe, with Faith in the Almighty and Confidence in the Self.

And then, is it not life all about choices we make? We can choose to be happy in the grimmest of situation and other way round. This I have seen in my life very clearly. I graduated with engineering degree… got placed in a MNC (a dream job for many of my friends)… drawing a handsome salary (among the highest in my batch)… and here I was miserable: always tensed, my blood pressure going high, could not sleep… always restless. Today, I have no job… no income… have registered for Masters (after facing intense competition)… the future is uncertain… BUT I AM HAPPY. I sleep well… get up with “an expectation from the self and hope from the world”… thank God for this life (an opportunity worth cherishing for)

My Spiritual Mentor gave a very beautiful suggestion. He said that Never try to quit anything bad (or bads) in you. It is stressful and frustrating process. But the BEST thing is to add as many good as you can and a time will come when the bad (or bads) will automatically leave. A good analogy could be adding new items in our small room: to make space for them we need to throw out the not-so-necessary ones.

At the end… as always so now… these “speech” is my HearT’s SpeaK, mind just gave them words!!!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Wait and Watch

Coming days are going to be hectic and probably, if things go as planned then life will embark upon a new voyage in a new sea, like the sailors of the bygone centuries braving natural furies to find new waters and new grounds.
For now it is just a wait and watch and act when time permits :-)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Guilty/Innocence

Thank u very much Aishoo for tagging me. This is my 2nd G&I question series (first time being tagged by Shree). Some of the answers "improved"....hahahahaha
  1. Asked someone to marry you? Innocent. Aisi kismat kahan (No luck yet :()!!!
  2. Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty. Many times: my brothers...(After all DOSTANA not allowed ;-))
  3. Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent. A dream yet to live...hayyyeeee
  4. Ever told a lie? Guilty. I'm a baggage of lie. Beware.hehehehe
  5. Kissed a picture? Innocent. In dreams (this doesn't count as guilty, I guess)
  6. Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty. Do 5PM falls within 24 hr clock?
  7. Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. Uhhhhhhhhh....umpteen times
  8. Held a snake? Innocent. After watching guys flirting with snakes in Nat Geo n Animal Planet....Hmmmm I can think of it some day :P
  9. Been suspended from school? Innocent Always feared being thrown out... therefore behaved!!!
  10. Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. I am diet freak... my conscience would not have allowed to do so! 
  11. Stolen from a store? Innocent. Not yet
  12. Been fired from a job? Innocent. Not exactly
  13. Done something you regret? Guilty. I have regretted so much that even regret is a small term..hahahhaha :P
  14. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty. many a times
  15. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent. Is it same as keeping ice cream on the tongue? Then Yes Guilty
  16. Kissed in the rain? Innocent. Nope (Actually kissed the rain Please do not make anything out of it)
  17. Sat on a roof top? Guilty. Main, meri tanhai and roof top (I, my loneliness and roof top... Inseparable )
  18. Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. I din't have the Golden opportunity to kiss (in right earnest and passion ;-))
  19. Sang in the shower? Guilty. I am a Shower singer...lllalalalalllololololalalalala
  20. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent. Who can dare to to that to ME???
  21. Shaved your head? Guilty – Almost guilt in first year of engineering as ragging protocol (it was called 1st degree cut):P
  22. Had a boxing membership? Innocent. I am an ardent follower of Gandhi when it come to violence even in sports....:)
  23. Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty. This is the reason I still do not have a GF :(
  24. Been in a band? Innocent. band of fata dhol
  25. Shot a gun? Guilty. on balloons
  26. Donated Blood? Innocent. I strongly feel that as soon as the blood is taken out from me.... I'll need it back ;-)
  27. Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. Compltely non-veggy turned veggy 
  28. Eaten cheesecake? Innocent. What is this?
  29. Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. Hmmmm..... Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....Aaaaaaaaa..uhuhuhu....oooooppppssss..!!!
  30. Have/had a tattoo? Innocent. For me tattoo is taboo :P
  31. Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty. This question is making me little emotional...Blush..blush blush...
  32. Been too honest? Guilty. Can't help it...God is watching
  33. Ruined a surprise? Innocent do not remember ever doing this
  34. Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty. many times
  35. Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent. not exactly.. but didnot respond to his friend request
  36. Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent. there are many eager bodies to do that... then why take the pain! 
  37. Joined a pageant? Innocent. Nope...but there is hope :)
  38. Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty. Unfortunately by married girls while the single ones standing by their side and staring at me blankly.... pathetic :(
  39. Had communication with your ex? Innocent. I do not assume x, y,z (as done in algebra)... I believe in SOLID FIGURES..hehehehehehhahahahahahahhohohohoho ;-)
  40. Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Guilty. Drank 10 cups of coffee before my electrical machines exams in 3rd semester of engineering and didn't sleep whole night... the next day in examination hall the experience was similar to being drunk. ;-) 
  41. Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty. As a child many times.
Now its tagging time again....
Honoring 

Monday, June 14, 2010

Life is a Search

From past few days a thought is lingering in mind day and night: life is a search. Taking forward I already wrote few lines in my English (Life) and Hindi (जिंदगी) poetry blogs but the incompleteness is quite evident. Is this because the search is still on? Yes.

Life is a never ending search for an end. How, when, where are questions which each one has to find for oneself. There is no one right answer. Neither there is one right path. 
We all carry our own pasts with us. We ourselves have to unburden. Life is an iterative process of unlearning and learning.

In one glance everything I have said above looks disjoint. But it is not so. 

We have a question and we start searching for the answer. By the time we find the answer the question loses its significance. The answer in itself becomes a question and the search starts all over again till the life ends on this physical plane. If life is considered to be a form of energy then end of life in one plane is a beginning in another plane. May be the search which was incomplete in previous plane starts afresh in next plane.

A never ending search!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Long Time... No Say

Hmmm...
Was not in slumbers.... just in a different location, in a different mood...
These days my love for poetry, both for Hindi and English, is increasing... 
Or is it just an intermittent state of awakening?


Sometimes (rather most of the times) I wonder what is poetry?
Surprisingly, all most always I do not have any answer...
I feel I do not understand poetry! 


Can I say, what I write is poetry or just rhyming sentences?


Uhhhhhh... Thoughts leading nowhere! Give up


Let's keep rhyming, if it is one or writing poetry, if heart feels so...
Good Night or a Good Morning??? 01:06AM
(Another confusion... another thought)
    

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Innocence/Guilty Q&A

Shree tagged me for this Innocence/Guilty Q&A.

This is something which I find very interesting..with equally interesting rules as well.

So the rules are,

RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

But RULE-2 can be broken (after all I am not the 1st one).

Asked someone to marry you? I. NO Never got a chance ;-) .

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
G. Yes, many times my brothers on cheek and forehead only (NO DOSTANA ALLOWED or EVER ATTEMPTED) :-P

Danced on a table in a bar? I. Danced:Yes.... In a bar: YES... unfortunately not on a table ;-)

Ever told a lie? G. Innumerable times... My Birth right Yaa.. :-) :-) :-)

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? G. Yes... but can't name her (if she happens to read this blog!!!)

Kissed a picture?
I. (Plz specify or else I'll take the benefit of doubt ;-))

Slept in until 5 PM? G. 24x7 (I guess, 5PM comes within it :-))

Fallen asleep at work/school? G. Yup... countless times...

Held a snake? I. Planning to in future (after seeking guys in Nat Geo and Discovery channels flirting with these creatures)

Been suspended from school? I. I feared suspension..therefore, never attempted something bold with CAPITAL B.

Worked at a fast food restaurant? I. Still on my wishlist

Stolen from a store? I. Never dared to... feared GOD ;-)

Been fired from a job? I. Not exactly.

Done something you regret? G. innumerable like the stars

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? G. Yes many a times.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? I. No chance so far.

Kissed in the rain? I. (Kissing the rain would do??????) :-D

Sat on a roof top? G. I and my loneliness always on the roof top (Mei aur meri tanhai)

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? I. BTW,whom we shouldn’t kiss????

Sang in the shower? G. Notorious for shower-singing :-D

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? I. Naa..

Shaved your head? G. Almost in engg. 1st year as ragging protocol (but it was called 1st degree cut) ;-)

Had a boxing membership? I. Execuse me !

Made a girlfriend cry?G. veteran in this field... want some tips? ;-)

Been in a band? I.

Shot a gun? G. Yes at the fun fairs aiming at balloons.

Donated Blood? I. feared that I may need it back once I am done giving :-)

Eaten alligator meat? I. Never got an option in menu!

Eaten cheesecake? I. Not yet.

Still love someone you shouldn’t? I.

Have/had a tattoo? I. I fear skin-cancer.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? G. Can't name her in public :-)

Been too honest? G. Can't help it... (God is watching)

Ruined a surprise? I. Hmmmm...

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? G. I am a gluttonous pig

Erased someone in your friends list? G. Not exactly erased but ignored his friend request!

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? I.

Joined a pageant? I. So far nothing,has fascinated me :-P

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?G. Unfortunately, by married girls while the single ones standing by their side staring. Yaaaak....;-)

Had communication with your ex? I. Never had any Ex kinda relationship in life :-)

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? I. I don’t even drink Tea :-D :-D :-D

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? G.

Hmmm... Result was pretty predictable (24 Is and 18 Gs) ... and my interpretation is ....Dude, u have done nothing in life (yaar life mei to kuch bhi kiya nahi)

Shree it goes back to u dear...Too tired to tag someone else...

Uhhhh... Breathless



The Song Of The Free- Vivekananda

Surfing through the internet I came across a beautiful, thought-provoking poem written by Swami Vivekananda in 1895.

The wounded snake its hood unfurls,
The flame stirred up doth blaze,
The desert air resounds the calls
Of heart-struck lion's rage.

The cloud puts forth it deluge strength
When lightning cleaves its breast,
When the soul is stirred to its in most depth
Great ones unfold their best.

Let eyes grow dim and heart grow faint,
And friendship fail and love betray,
Let Fate its hundred horrors send,
And clotted darkness block the way.

All nature wear one angry frown,
To crush you out - still know, my soul,
You are Divine. March on and on,
Nor right nor left but to the goal.

Nor angel I, nor man, nor brute,
Nor body, mind, nor he nor she,
The books do stop in wonder mute
To tell my nature; I am He.

Before the sun, the moon, the earth,
Before the stars or comets free,
Before e'en time has had its birth,
I was, I am, and I will be.

The beauteous earth, the glorious sun,
The calm sweet moon, the spangled sky,
Causation's law do make them run;
They live in bonds, in bonds they die.

And mind its mantle dreamy net
Cast o'er them all and holds them fast.
In warp and woof of thought are set,
Earth, hells, and heavens, or worst or best.

Know these are but the outer crust -
All space and time, all effect, cause.
I am beyond all sense, all thoughts,
The witness of the universe.

Not two nor many, 'tis but one,
And thus in me all me's I have;
I cannot hate, I cannot shun
Myself from me, I can but love.

From dreams awake, from bonds be free,
Be not afraid. This mystery,
My shadow, cannot frighten me,
Know once for all that I am He.

- Swami Vivekananda

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Uhhh...

Working from last 3 days on updating my blog(s) with new widgets and plugins. In the process came across many new and interesting things. These have renewed my interest in blogging.

Ideas are plenty... just need the right attitude to go ahead.

Hopefully, the nourishment will cater to the demand.
Ending it here.

PS: This post is more of a test post.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Hi 5 Tag

Shree, thanks for tagging me.... It took me considerably longgggg time to respond. U were right... I was tired of writing poems with "empty" feelings (or fillings :P). It took me some time to acknowledge it . Therefore, this delay. :)

Ok... now getting down to some business...

5 Pathetically horrible movies you’ve seen :
1. Kabhi Na Kabhi: Great cast but flop show... I didn't understand what the movie is all about. (Priyadarshan has a knack for making terrible movies. When he is not in his "own" self, he makes Hera Pheri!). I saw this movie in a cinema hall in Ranchi in 1998 (see... the traumatic experience leaves behind an indelible trail)
2. Hello Brother: It seems Khan brothers have bought the copyright for making some cheap movies with Salman Khan doing the finishing job so well. Worse, I had all the time in earth (and in heaven) to watch this movie in a cinema hall way back in 1999. (another example of a traumatic experience)
3. One, Two, Three: Ya Shree... agree with u... Only Paresh Rawal was the USP of the movie... everything else was Bakwas..
4. & 5.: Gosh!!!! I do not want to recall any more (they do not come alone... bad memories follow too :P)

5 Accessories you can create out of food
1. Round Chapatti earring.
2. Map of India Chapatti earring.
3. Moon-like Chapatti earring.
4. & 5. In short specialized in Chapatti earrings!!!

5 Places you won't be seen dead at
1. Temples: I have stopped begging long back therefore, stopped going to temples. :P
2. Gutter: Never drunk enough to reach there.
3. Cloth Shop: Get instantly intoxicated as soon as I enter one!!!
4. Multiplexes: unless someone sponsors... hehehe
5. Top of a water tank: A Basanti (of Sholay movie fame) will never intrude into my life.

5 People you'd love to hit anytime, anywhere:
Well I am a follower of Gandhi, the Aandhi... (totally) non-violent in my actions (sparing thoughts; who has seen it!!!)
And bible says: Hate the sin and not the sinner... I agree... after all, some of the heinous sins are committed by some of the most beautiful people!!!
Therefore, no hitting business.

5 Things you'd do to scare anybody:
1. Recite my poems...
2. Sing a romantic song on my very first date!!!
3. Volunteering to make Chapattis... hehehhe...
4. Ravana like-laugh...
5. Jump in front of someone unexpectedly and shout at top of my voice.

Finally, at the end... done with the test paper...
Now time to pay back...
Tagging 5 people

It goes back to you.... Check out..

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Rise Up

Just few minutes back I cam across a beautiful song Rise Up on FaceBook... felt like sharing with all my friends.

We all dream of rising so high in the direction of the sky... over the rainbow... on the rain

BeautifuL!!
video

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Rise and Fall

Lots of development in last few days. Some rise to glory, some fall to humiliation.

In IPL CSK won the trophy. But India is out of T20 World Cup.

In UK, Gorden Brown resigned from the top post as the Labour Party was not able to strike a deal with Lib. Dem. David Camaron is the new Tory PM. Welcoming UK into an era of coalition govt.

Jairam Ramesh is courting controversy over his China remarks.

The battle between Lalit Modi and BCCI is going on apace.

Bill Gates is going to adopt a village in Bihar!

Viswanathan Anand retained his world championship title...

and there are many more.
Some of the happenings/events seem to be a consequence of utter foolishness of individual(s) and some bear deep afterthought.

The mind is either a fickle enemy or a calm partner; whatever we choose it to be. Even God can not play with the free will He has bestowed upon the humans!

Friday, April 23, 2010

An Hour In PARLIAMENT HOUSE

I do not know that what I am going to say has any future connotation or it is just another site seeing (I say this because I saw there many people like me)!

I got an opportunity to be in the Public Gallery of LOK SABHA today!

I VISITED THE PARLIAMENT OF INDIA, the institution which rules the country of which I am a proud (and also a not so proud) citizen.

The proof of my visit is the Pass which every visiting individual must have, duly approved by a sitting MP. Unfortunately, I cannot upload the Pass (though I still have it with me now).

We were four of us: Shubhum, Bipin, Bhupal Mamu and I.

There are 7 check points from the entry to the Public Gallery. Pockets are virtually emptied by the time one reaches the PG. Only paper currency is allowed (not even coins!). They even asked me to deposit my hanky! I wonder a day may come when out of security reasons visitors would be asked to deposit their clothes. This will be the height of security!

After going through all the security checks I finally entered the Public Gallery. I was guided to sit on a wooden bench by one of the security personnel. He gave some DONOT instructions: do not talk or whisper, do not lean on front bench, do not sit with one leg on the other... For a moment I felt I am back in my nursery days!

I was curious to see the political leaders present in the House. Some of them I could immediately recognize: Advani, Susma Swaraj, Sarad Yadav, Arjun Munda, Nishikant Dubey. 1 or 2 I could recognize by face but could not recall their names.

Unfortunately, all the big names from the govt side were absent (my bad luck!!). Our visiting hour was from 2PM to 3PM. While leaving the PG I could recognize only Agatha Sangma from the ruling side.

There were many thoughts rising and falling in the mind like ebb and flow of a sea in full moon night which I'll write later.

As for now in short:
I WAS HAPPY AND I WAS SAD!!!


Thursday, April 22, 2010

SASURAL GENDA PHOOL

The title may remind many of the song from the movie DELHI-6. But here I am talking about the TV series coming on Star Plus from Monday to Friday at 7:30PM. I have watched almost all the episodes; some thorough Youtube and most recent ones directly from the TV channel.

This serial has come as fresh breeze in the stinging contaminated air created by the usual Saash-Bahu drama.

SGP is a story of a simple, innocuous boy coming from middle class who is married to an arrogant but kind-hearted girl from an affluent family. There are mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law also a good understanding among them.

I feel it is a worth watch!!!


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Abruptness

I start writing abruptly. After some free flow of words (or may be not-so-free-flow) things stop abruptly.

Abruptness has been an integrated part of my personality. Nothing planned before nothing thought before; just start and just stop!

All my life I have been paying price for the abruptness of my action. Writing of this post too is an offshoot of my abruptness.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Dry & Hot Month: April 2010


This is the third blog in this month... almost a dry month... Hot too... The temperature is soaring upwards with no respite evident in coming days; yesterday being 44 degrees Centigrade in Delhi, highest in 52 years.

Is it the effect of global warming?

A simple question with no simple answer.

Worst, today it drizzled. A heavy rain would bring great relief.

Yesterday appeared for SBI P.O. exam. Objective type questions 200 in 2 hours. I wonder what purpose these type of exams serve?

My younger bro brought TV tuner card... got cable connections... so full time TV watching...
HAVE STARTED WATCHING "SASURAL GENDA PHOOL" RELIGIOUSLY
:)

Friday, April 2, 2010

Reminiscence from Childhood-1

Childhood is like a beautiful dream (for most of us); before we realize we are awake to the harsh reality of life. They leave a nostalgic vacuum for rest of life. We yearn to live them live again but...

Walking down the memory lane, I could recollect few incidents, though vaguely, which for some unknown reasons still remain itched in memory.
  1. Ma told me the story, I am going to narrate, now. Well, I do not have the faintest of recollection of this incident. I was about 3 years old. One day I got hold of a Hindi magazine, I guess it was Sarita. There were few pictures of some eminent politicians in one of the pages I had turned. I asked my mother who they were. She told me their names; Rajiv Gandhi and Indira Gandhi. Papaji was also present when this conversation between mother and son was going on. I guess he was a silent spectator to all this. Then after few days Ma got the magazine. This time she asked me the name of the personalities she had earlier told me. Coincidently, Papaji was also present. To their utter surprise I could easily recollect the names. Papaji was very impressed so much so that he got me enrolled in the primary school of our village Chitra.
  2. This story dates back to when I was around 3 and 1/2 years old. I was already enrolled in the primary school in my village (Chitra, jharkhand). One day for some reason Rajaramji (our caretaker) did not come to pick me up after the school. One of the teachers then dropped me home on his bicycle. When we reached home my father was watering the plants. Once I got down from his bicycle my father asked me to say "thank you" to him but I was too shy to say that. I stood behind the pillar hiding myself and praying somehow Sir should leave so that I do not have to say "Thank You" to him. After waiting for 1-2 minutes he left. I was relieved.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

A Fool's arrival on Fool's Day in the City of Wise

Today, this fool completes one year in the city of wise, Delhi!

Coming to Delhi was not a conscious decision in first place. After quiting from the job in Dec, 2008 I was pretty sure of what not to do; getting into software job again. But I was not very sure then (and so I am now) about what I wanted to do next. After spending around 4 months doing nothing, I decided to shift to Delhi.

I wanted to return to my core engineering, that is, EEE. The plan was to join a coaching institute, IES Made Easy Coaching which would refresh my engineering subjects I had virtually forgotten completely after three years of stressed and tension dominated life. I was relieved!

Finally the journey commenced from B'lore on 30th March, 2009. It was a little nostalgic moment leaving B'lore where I spend 3 years but then the choice was made. There was no looking back.

Around 10:30AM on 1st of April, 2009 Shubhum and I arrived by Karnataka Express to New Delhi. Luckily the journey was smooth and so was the shifting.

Looking back, last one year has been productive in more than one ways:
  • I gained my psychological equanimity I had lost in B'lore because of the software job. Every day, every moment I felt I was ill suited for it. But could not muster the strength to quit the job. Secretly, every day I prayed to God to liberate me somehow from this "peril" (and surprisingly, He responded and I am THANKFUL to Him).
  • I was happy to come back to my core engineering. A guilt feeling had crept inside me (that I had betrayed my core engineering), from the very moment I joined software field, evaporated.
  • I came to know that IITs get research projects which I can join as a recruit and besides, I can pursue part time MS or MTech. Wonderful information which I never had earlier!
  • Lastly but most importantly, I restored here the lost link with spirituality. Spirituality has become my LIFELINE or BACKBONE or FOUNDATION or BASIS so on and so on of my existence. (Details some other time)
All in all the rocket is on the expected trajectory (taking into account 5-10% of error in calculation :P).

Hopefully the destination will be reached in this LIFETIME!

Amen

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Manipal to Mumbai...My first visit

I remember an incident of my college days; 1st semester in the college (MIT, Manipal) was over. We were heading back to our home. It was in Jan, 2003. I arrived in Kurla through Konkan railway. The connecting train (Mumbai-Patna super fast) was on next day from Kurla. Therefore, I planned to stay overnight in my aunt's place in west Santa Cruz. I took an auto...


No sooner did the auto join the traffic flow on one of the roads than I realized that I have reached hell. Vehicles honking from all sides, suffocating smoke coming out of exhausts of vehicles, stinging smell emanating from heaps of garbage.


Now this experience was not new to me. But the first five months of life in Manipal made me forget the harsh "reality" of almost all big cities in India.


Manipal is a small "university" town in coastal Karnataka, about 60 kms south of Mangalore. It is situated on rocky hinterland of a village known by the name Madhav Nagar (but everyone calls it Manipal). Beauty of Manipal cannot be described in words.


To feel it one must be there!


The most I can say here is that my first journey from dreamland to reality was nothing less than a revelation!