This Is My Life, Rated | |
Life: | 7.1 |
Mind: | 7 |
Body: | 6.7 |
Spirit: | 8.4 |
Friends/Family: | 4.6 |
Love: | 5.5 |
Finance: | 7.9 |
Take the Rate My Life Quiz |
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Rated My Life
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thoughts
The silence inside me is giving way to my thoughts. Thoughts are poring in or are they just leaving me! Donno...
It is beautiful to watch them pass by; different shades, colors, contours, depth, height...
Everything and everywhere they are... Amazing na!!!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Remarrying after divorce
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Get up
These days I am trying to wake up to the real world form my dreamland. Hopefully, I get up soon
Friday, November 5, 2010
Attitude vs Talent
Kabir's one of the couplet says it all "karat karat abhyash ke jar mati hot sujan, rasri aavat jat te sil par part nishan".
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Happy Diwali
I do not know what to say. I can hope that a Deepawali may come some time in future (do not know whether I'll be able to see it) when in true sense the festival of light will light everyone's life. A distant hope!
I want to write incessantly but my thoughts and ideas seems to be jumbled up. Do not know from where to start.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Recess
Enjoyed 18 days vacation with the family. It was almost a year when I was with them for so long.
Now back to business: searching a new direction and destination!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Learning the hard way
Here I am expected to learn a subject, prepare power point presentation and teach the class. Worst part is that library do not contain proper reference books. The teacher has given up saying that even he is new to the subject and "wants" to learn along with us without giving any input from his side. The onus of the subject lies on three of us. God only knows how we are going to learn this subject!
The motivating factor: Expect not and thou shall not be disappointed.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Just Do It
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Right Time
The inevitable question comes: where am I?
On a philosophical note sometime back I wrote
where I am not?
Where am the Universe
or just a dot?
Where am alone
or one in lot?
Is it that I do not know what I want! It is more of an expression than a question.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Long Hiatus
Life has moved on. Now I am pursuing MTech from NIT Kurukshetra in Control Systems.
One thing that has rally wondered me and made me think:whatever I have wanted I have got in life. But by the time I have received it I have lost the interest in it. I do not know whether this happens with me or is common with others.
Does it mean Nature is very generous in giving but also strict: it wont give what we want when we want but when it is really needed.
My coming to Kurukshetra was not a conscious decision. I was preparing to get into IIT for MTech. I was striving hard but then something happened 2-3 months before the exam that I could not study. It was the time when suddenly I lost interest in the real world. Was being carried away in some remote world, I do not know where. In this suspended state of mind I gave the exam without thinking of the consequences. Results came out and my rank was very poor. I almost lost hope that I'll get admission this time in any of the IITs and it was true. Someone suggested me to apply in the NITs and I did. NIT Kurukshetra was not at all in my cards. Somehow I did not wanted to apply here... again I do not know why!
But the reality is that I got admission only here... and that too in the subject I wanted to pursue, Control System.
Was my destiny delayed by my seer inaction or not the adequate amount of action? The later seems to be true. I have to come out of the inactive state and respect whatever I have, build upon it.
Probably this is what even God wants from me!
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Road of Life
Some time back I was thinking about problems we face in life. What are these problems? This question took me to my school days. I could very easily co-relate. Initially I was taught the alphabets, the numbers…then came the words, simple arithmetic problems… followed by sentences, tougher problems… and the complexity increased. Isn’t life same too?
One thing that I have understood about Nature (or God or whatever we may call) is that EVOLUTION and nothing but EVOLUTION is its (avoiding gender controversy ) ONE and ONLY agenda. Whenever Nature feels that we need to move ahead, learn new lessons it blesses us with “the problems”, we hate the most. We are left with no option but to face. Worst… there is no escaping. Till we master what Nature wants us to master, the problem will recur again and again in different forms.
No one remains the same before and after the arrival of pain (or problems). The title of a very popular self help book says it all “Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do”.
Nature wants us to accept life in totality; learn to except the good, and the bad too, with ease. This is possible, I believe, with Faith in the Almighty and Confidence in the Self.
And then, is it not life all about choices we make? We can choose to be happy in the grimmest of situation and other way round. This I have seen in my life very clearly. I graduated with engineering degree… got placed in a MNC (a dream job for many of my friends)… drawing a handsome salary (among the highest in my batch)… and here I was miserable: always tensed, my blood pressure going high, could not sleep… always restless. Today, I have no job… no income… have registered for Masters (after facing intense competition)… the future is uncertain… BUT I AM HAPPY. I sleep well… get up with “an expectation from the self and hope from the world”… thank God for this life (an opportunity worth cherishing for)
My Spiritual Mentor gave a very beautiful suggestion. He said that Never try to quit anything bad (or bads) in you. It is stressful and frustrating process. But the BEST thing is to add as many good as you can and a time will come when the bad (or bads) will automatically leave. A good analogy could be adding new items in our small room: to make space for them we need to throw out the not-so-necessary ones.
At the end… as always so now… these “speech” is my HearT’s SpeaK, mind just gave them words!!!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Wait and Watch
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Guilty/Innocence
- Asked someone to marry you? Innocent. Aisi kismat kahan (No luck yet :()!!!
- Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty. Many times: my brothers...(After all DOSTANA not allowed ;-))
- Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent. A dream yet to live...hayyyeeee
- Ever told a lie? Guilty. I'm a baggage of lie. Beware.hehehehe
- Kissed a picture? Innocent. In dreams (this doesn't count as guilty, I guess)
- Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty. Do 5PM falls within 24 hr clock?
- Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty. Uhhhhhhhhh....umpteen times
- Held a snake? Innocent. After watching guys flirting with snakes in Nat Geo n Animal Planet....Hmmmm I can think of it some day :P
- Been suspended from school? Innocent. Always feared being thrown out... therefore behaved!!!
- Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent. I am diet freak... my conscience would not have allowed to do so!
- Stolen from a store? Innocent. Not yet
- Been fired from a job? Innocent. Not exactly
- Done something you regret? Guilty. I have regretted so much that even regret is a small term..hahahhaha :P
- Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty. many a times
- Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent. Is it same as keeping ice cream on the tongue? Then Yes Guilty
- Kissed in the rain? Innocent. Nope (Actually kissed the rain Please do not make anything out of it)
- Sat on a roof top? Guilty. Main, meri tanhai and roof top (I, my loneliness and roof top... Inseparable )
- Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. I din't have the Golden opportunity to kiss (in right earnest and passion ;-))
- Sang in the shower? Guilty. I am a Shower singer...lllalalalalllololololalalalala
- Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent. Who can dare to to that to ME???
- Shaved your head? Guilty – Almost guilt in first year of engineering as ragging protocol (it was called 1st degree cut):P
- Had a boxing membership? Innocent. I am an ardent follower of Gandhi when it come to violence even in sports....:)
- Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty. This is the reason I still do not have a GF :(
- Been in a band? Innocent. band of fata dhol
- Shot a gun? Guilty. on balloons
- Donated Blood? Innocent. I strongly feel that as soon as the blood is taken out from me.... I'll need it back ;-)
- Eaten alligator meat? Innocent. Compltely non-veggy turned veggy
- Eaten cheesecake? Innocent. What is this?
- Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent. Hmmmm..... Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....Aaaaaaaaa..uhuhuhu....oooooppppssss..!!!
- Have/had a tattoo? Innocent. For me tattoo is taboo :P
- Liked someone, but will never tell who? Guilty. This question is making me little emotional...Blush..blush blush...
- Been too honest? Guilty. Can't help it...God is watching
- Ruined a surprise? Innocent do not remember ever doing this
- Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? Guilty. many times
- Erased someone in your friends list? Innocent. not exactly.. but didnot respond to his friend request
- Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent. there are many eager bodies to do that... then why take the pain!
- Joined a pageant? Innocent. Nope...but there is hope :)
- Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty. Unfortunately by married girls while the single ones standing by their side and staring at me blankly.... pathetic :(
- Had communication with your ex? Innocent. I do not assume x, y,z (as done in algebra)... I believe in SOLID FIGURES..hehehehehehhahahahahahahhohohohoho ;-)
- Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Guilty. Drank 10 cups of coffee before my electrical machines exams in 3rd semester of engineering and didn't sleep whole night... the next day in examination hall the experience was similar to being drunk. ;-)
- Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty. As a child many times.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Life is a Search
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Long Time... No Say
Was not in slumbers.... just in a different location, in a different mood...
These days my love for poetry, both for Hindi and English, is increasing...
Or is it just an intermittent state of awakening?
Sometimes (rather most of the times) I wonder what is poetry?
Surprisingly, all most always I do not have any answer...
I feel I do not understand poetry!
Can I say, what I write is poetry or just rhyming sentences?
Uhhhhhh... Thoughts leading nowhere! Give up
Let's keep rhyming, if it is one or writing poetry, if heart feels so...
Good Night or a Good Morning??? 01:06AM
(Another confusion... another thought)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Innocence/Guilty Q&A
Shree tagged me for this Innocence/Guilty Q&A.
This is something which I find very interesting..with equally interesting rules as well.
So the rules are,
RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
But RULE-2 can be broken (after all I am not the 1st one).
Asked someone to marry you? I. NO Never got a chance .
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? G. Yes, many times my brothers on cheek and forehead only (NO DOSTANA ALLOWED or EVER ATTEMPTED)
Danced on a table in a bar? I. Danced:Yes.... In a bar: YES... unfortunately not on a table
Ever told a lie? G. Innumerable times... My Birth right Yaa..
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? G. Yes... but can't name her (if she happens to read this blog!!!)
Kissed a picture? I. (Plz specify or else I'll take the benefit of doubt )
Slept in until 5 PM? G. 24x7 (I guess, 5PM comes within it )
Fallen asleep at work/school? G. Yup... countless times...
Held a snake? I. Planning to in future (after seeking guys in Nat Geo and Discovery channels flirting with these creatures)
Been suspended from school? I. I feared suspension..therefore, never attempted something bold with CAPITAL B.
Worked at a fast food restaurant? I. Still on my wishlist
Stolen from a store? I. Never dared to... feared GOD
Been fired from a job? I. Not exactly.
Done something you regret? G. innumerable like the stars
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? G. Yes many a times.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? I. No chance so far.
Kissed in the rain? I. (Kissing the rain would do??????)
Sat on a roof top? G. I and my loneliness always on the roof top (Mei aur meri tanhai)
Kissed someone you shouldn’t? I. BTW,whom we shouldn’t kiss????
Sang in the shower? G. Notorious for shower-singing
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? I. Naa..
Shaved your head? G. Almost in engg. 1st year as ragging protocol (but it was called 1st degree cut)
Had a boxing membership? I. Execuse me !
Made a girlfriend cry?G. veteran in this field... want some tips?
Been in a band? I.
Shot a gun? G. Yes at the fun fairs aiming at balloons.
Donated Blood? I. feared that I may need it back once I am done giving
Eaten alligator meat? I. Never got an option in menu!
Eaten cheesecake? I. Not yet.
Still love someone you shouldn’t? I.
Have/had a tattoo? I. I fear skin-cancer.
Liked someone, but will never tell who? G. Can't name her in public
Been too honest? G. Can't help it... (God is watching)
Ruined a surprise? I. Hmmmm...
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterward? G. I am a gluttonous pig
Erased someone in your friends list? G. Not exactly erased but ignored his friend request!
Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? I.
Joined a pageant? I. So far nothing,has fascinated me
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?G. Unfortunately, by married girls while the single ones standing by their side staring. Yaaaak....
Had communication with your ex? I. Never had any Ex kinda relationship in life
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? I. I don’t even drink Tea
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? G.
Hmmm... Result was pretty predictable (24 Is and 18 Gs) ... and my interpretation is ....Dude, u have done nothing in life (yaar life mei to kuch bhi kiya nahi)
Shree it goes back to u dear...Too tired to tag someone else...
Uhhhh... Breathless
The Song Of The Free- Vivekananda
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Uhhh...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Hi 5 Tag
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Rise and Fall
Friday, April 23, 2010
An Hour In PARLIAMENT HOUSE
Thursday, April 22, 2010
SASURAL GENDA PHOOL
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Abruptness
Monday, April 19, 2010
Dry & Hot Month: April 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Reminiscence from Childhood-1
- Ma told me the story, I am going to narrate, now. Well, I do not have the faintest of recollection of this incident. I was about 3 years old. One day I got hold of a Hindi magazine, I guess it was Sarita. There were few pictures of some eminent politicians in one of the pages I had turned. I asked my mother who they were. She told me their names; Rajiv Gandhi and Indira Gandhi. Papaji was also present when this conversation between mother and son was going on. I guess he was a silent spectator to all this. Then after few days Ma got the magazine. This time she asked me the name of the personalities she had earlier told me. Coincidently, Papaji was also present. To their utter surprise I could easily recollect the names. Papaji was very impressed so much so that he got me enrolled in the primary school of our village Chitra.
- This story dates back to when I was around 3 and 1/2 years old. I was already enrolled in the primary school in my village (Chitra, jharkhand). One day for some reason Rajaramji (our caretaker) did not come to pick me up after the school. One of the teachers then dropped me home on his bicycle. When we reached home my father was watering the plants. Once I got down from his bicycle my father asked me to say "thank you" to him but I was too shy to say that. I stood behind the pillar hiding myself and praying somehow Sir should leave so that I do not have to say "Thank You" to him. After waiting for 1-2 minutes he left. I was relieved.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
A Fool's arrival on Fool's Day in the City of Wise
- I gained my psychological equanimity I had lost in B'lore because of the software job. Every day, every moment I felt I was ill suited for it. But could not muster the strength to quit the job. Secretly, every day I prayed to God to liberate me somehow from this "peril" (and surprisingly, He responded and I am THANKFUL to Him).
- I was happy to come back to my core engineering. A guilt feeling had crept inside me (that I had betrayed my core engineering), from the very moment I joined software field, evaporated.
- I came to know that IITs get research projects which I can join as a recruit and besides, I can pursue part time MS or MTech. Wonderful information which I never had earlier!
- Lastly but most importantly, I restored here the lost link with spirituality. Spirituality has become my LIFELINE or BACKBONE or FOUNDATION or BASIS so on and so on of my existence. (Details some other time)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Manipal to Mumbai...My first visit
No sooner did the auto join the traffic flow on one of the roads than I realized that I have reached hell. Vehicles honking from all sides, suffocating smoke coming out of exhausts of vehicles, stinging smell emanating from heaps of garbage.
Now this experience was not new to me. But the first five months of life in Manipal made me forget the harsh "reality" of almost all big cities in India.
Manipal is a small "university" town in coastal Karnataka, about 60 kms south of Mangalore. It is situated on rocky hinterland of a village known by the name Madhav Nagar (but everyone calls it Manipal). Beauty of Manipal cannot be described in words.
To feel it one must be there!
The most I can say here is that my first journey from dreamland to reality was nothing less than a revelation!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Me
A drop of water
A drop of water in the eyes of beloved... is an expression of love.